Coasting into September

I’ve decided to be a brunette for a while: whatdya think?

Labour Day weekend here in Canada…and oh, what a lovely one it is. How could you ask for better weather than this: 23-26C, not a cloud in the sky, and a slight breeze.

The students are back in town!! I live on a busy street and I would guess that about 200 students walked by today, some are frosh on their escapades, others are just moving in today. Parents try in vain to park as well as get in and out of driveways on a busy street, many people stop to ask where the LCBO and grocery store are located. There’s a bustle in the air that hasn’t been here since this time last year. My new tenant has moved in now, and set the alarm off twice cooking toast, so she is going to run the fan on the stove when she uses the toaster. Because it’s hard-wired into the alarm system and offers carbon monoxide detection, we cannot disable it. She is here doing a Master’s in Science but that’s all I really know. We met today for the first time because my assistant signed the lease with her when I was in Ireland in May, so we’d only ever gone back and forth by email and texting.

Franklin, the pup is lying beside me as a chicken is roasting in the oven for dinner. It’s just Ben and I for dinner. Graham is up at the Malcolm’s cottage until tomorrow evening, having fun with his buds and fishing til his heart’s content! He is finding our transition difficult. The prospects of having to move away from his friends and leave his home and all the changes have now sunk in; it’s making life a bit sad for him right now. He let it all out on Friday, which is how I know all of this. I said many things but will share that I told him we have to hug each other every day!

Ben has worked around the two properties downtown as part of working off his debt to me. Last weekend, he organized a band concert that was not well attended. He didn’t break even, so his mom bailed him out for the amount he owed the sound equipment folks, and now he is working off his debt. Hopefully, he learned a lesson about timing of the event and who his target audience is for future events.

Shelley and I are off to NYC on Friday morning for a four day getaway to celebrate my birthday. Not much is planned but we are getting together on Tuesday evening to get a few things finalized and a reservation or two booked in for nice places to eat. I will take some time after this post to do theatre research. I have had a few recommendations from colleagues, and we are both trying to be fiscally responsible since they are looking to move and I have to adjust my travelling habits. Hopefully, I will find time in a Brooklyn Heights café, near where we are staying, to write a note or two while I’m there and post it for you.

Hugs, Steph

Travelling With Teens

Red eyes, wet cheeks, quivering lips, slumped shoulders enter the vehicle. “Aren’t you going to give him heck, he nearly broke my arm!” Silence. “You always take his side you NEVER get him in trouble!” And from the back seat: “You’d better tell that kid to shut his mouth or I’m going to lose it on him!” Oh, testosterone- laden, savage boys; someone please come and help me!!!!! They argue and fight constantly and I’m losing my mind!!!

We’re at the Marriott in Mystic, Connecticut, please come and get me......

We’ve had a good start to our summer holidays...I think..... Although at the moment, I’m really not sure. The key to coping with teenagers is the same as with toddlers: sleep, and lots of it! Don’t let them get over tired. So it’s 10pm on Thursday night, Ben is on the couch and Graham is on the bed, both forbidden to have the televisions on, ordered to get to sleep. I gave them fair warning about 7pm: “It’s going to be an early night, cause you two are completely exhausted!” I am doing my best to keep the key strokes quiet....”but you have to go to bed now too!” “No, I don’t. The room is my birthday present and I’m the parent!”

Shhh......wait a sec......I hear quiet.............Gra has stopped moving......can it be?............oh good lord, there is a god! .............shit, he just rolled over........

Why is it that I’m always the referee, the one who’s “boring” and “no fun”, “cheap” and “crabby”? “You make me crabby!” (I know, I’m responsible for my own reactions, no one makes you do anything.) If you tell them that they are so spoiled, they really have no idea, they look at you like you’re Medusa and say: “I am so not spoiled. I can show you lots more kids at my school that are SPOILED. We are not SPOILED!” (He goes to a private school; need I say more?)

Just about everyone in the family has been to Mystic, so I decided that it would be a cool place to hang out for a day or two with them this summer. We went to the aquarium and to the Seaport. The highlights for me were the Beluga whales, and the restoration of a whaling ship, the Charles W. Morgan. After dinner, we checked in, had a swim and watched tv.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day......It’s quiet in here; not a creature is stirring....not even a mouse.....

Oh The Lazy Days of Summer!

I have to say that the past few weeks have been great. The weather has taken a turn for the better. I've managed to spend time with the kids, as you can see from our boating pics, and I have had a great week relaxing and catching up with friends.

Last week, the boys were on vacation with their father on a boating trip up the Rideau Canal from beginning to end: Kingston to Ottawa. I have to admit to moments of melancholy, given that they were somewhere holidaying without me. But since guilt is an entirely useless emotion, I decided to stay busy and enjoy the time to recharge so that when we go away in a few days, I'm all there. While they were making memories, I settled for a week of relaxing and getting my life in order.

The week began with a Monday morning wall 'tear-down' in my office. My ample main floor office is now compact and every inch is being used efficiently in order to free up an 11x12 space for a bedroom. Once I finally decided to stay here, we needed to free up a spacious waiting area and spare room for more practical purposes, like my own bedroom! I'm a few years early for the down-sized house, but it's such a beautiful space, that I just couldn't leave it to go to mediocrity. In the past 6 mos, I have discovered that most of us live in homes that are too big anyhow. Here, there is one TV, one common room, one computer, and we all have to actually talk to each other, god forbid! Plus, we have to come to agreement and compromise where television viewing is concerned AND it's much easier to keep track of what they watch and when they watch it. There's enough room, because we're spread out over 3 floors now, to get away when we need space, but not so much room that you could miss seeing each other for hours, and actually be in the same home, which is what used to happen.

Tuesday and Wednesday, I spent 2 glorious days at a beautiful casa on the 1000 Islands. I have to find a way to get me one of those! Here's just a taste because the blackberry is only 2 pixels and there's no wide angle lens, so actually that view extended well beyond the field of this picture. I spent my two days in awe at the extreme beauty and peacefulness of it all. It was truly magical.
Tuesday was spent sprawled on the deck couches, sun bathing with a bikini on, well kinda on....no one was around, I couldn't help myself. Believe me, I paid for it. The arse was a little red for a few days, and really itchy for a few more!Even a dreary Wednesday couldn't deter my mood. Since tanning wasn't the order of the day, I wrote in my diary, and worked on a legal document that will be needed in the weeks ahead, and wrote a couple of long letters to friends, well of sorts....I'd hoped to keep in touch with the office via email but wasn't able to get it set up, so the blackberry had to do. But in the end, it was a blessing; instead of wasting time thinking I was doing something important, I read a book called The Wishing Year, and watched two movies: Indecent Proposal, with Demi Moore and Robert Redford (Jeezus that man is beautiful; she is too for that matter.) I found the movie a little disturbing in that I thought about it a lot afterwards. It struck a few chords with me; melodies that are too deep for a 'friend' update. Some time we can discuss them if you remember. The second night, I watched Under the Tuscan Sun. I'd seen it before, but the whole dream of saying 'to hell with it' and just fucking off to some dreamy place like Tuscany or the south of France was just too appealing, so I ventured overseas with her again. At 615am on Thursday, I took the water taxi back to the mainland, and after checking both properties and watering plants etc, I went on to Oakville to meet up with my best friend from high school, Jill, who had come from Atlanta to stay with her parents for a week with her 3 boys, 18mos, 4 and 6. We hadn't seen each other for 2 years, which is our longest stretch in 10 yrs or more. It was great to catch up and to meet Quinn and be reacquainted with Will and Lucas. Jody and her family were also there from Calgary, so it was a busy house. I spent a huge amount of time organizing digital pics that were here, there and everywhere. She showed me the most amazing albums that you can have printed off and give as gifts. It's my new Christmas idea because my parents are always complaining that they don't get pictures any more. It's also a great way for us to deal with the division of our family photos. We had a walk to the playground and to an ice cream store that had gelato. OMG! I nearly had an orgasm right then and there! (It's been a while folks, come on, it doesn't take much!) Stoney Creek so far has the title. They say it's better in Italy, and if so, I'm in BIG trouble when I get there!

On Saturday morning, I went over to Niagara-on- the -Lake to see a couple of plays at the Shaw Festival. Had lunch on the patio of a very nice restaurant, baking in the hot sun, but I loved every minute of it. It was Saturday of a long weekend, and when I left about 530, the traffic through TO was bearable and on the eastern side, it was unusually quiet on the 401. I had Bruce Springsteen and Neil Diamond cranked and was tapping the steering wheel whilst I danced in my seat. I thoroughly enjoyed not having to negotiate the music played or the volume! I'm, sure people that I passed, or who passed me, thought I was nuts. Oh well, I hope I made them laugh for a moment or two.

I'm beginning 2 weeks of 'somewhat' slowing down. Although I won't be at the office, I have a tonne of crap to work through, including, but not limited to, drafting a separation agreement!! Oh Joy! There's all kinds of doo going on with PSUC, so have to stay in touch. However, I will have a bathing suit on, a touch of sunscreen, and the beautiful Thousand Islands to look out on, whilst I dream about a less complicated and hurried life. Will I ever arrive or just keep committing myself to all these unpaid jobs, called volunteerism.

Summer pics with the Boys

On Turning 40

Yesterday was the big day! Remember when it seemed so old?! Although I'm healthy, I have to admit that I do look old, and I often feel old. I have all these creases around my eyes, grey hairs, even in my eyebrows, dints on my thighs and butt, my children jiggle the back of my upper arm (like I used to do to my mother), and when I work out for any prolonged period of time, one part of my body of the other inevitably hurts. What do we have to look forward to? Crooked fingers and a wattle!

As birthdays should be, it was a time for family and food: steak, salmon, cake, Guiness and wine. Flowers arrived anonymously, which was a real treat. I haven't spent a lot of time trying to figure out who it was; have decided just to enjoy the fact that I have an admirer out there somewhere. I sure could have used them last week as I moped around feeling sorry for myself. The smell in my office is so strong that I think I'm going to have to move them to the house, where the smell can permeate a much larger space.

As I write this, I am finally listening to an April 30th NPR interview with Gabriel Byrne where he so eloquently expresses himself on many topics, but mostly about his show, In Treatment, of which I am a huge fan. If I can figure out how to do so, I will copy a link in here so you can take 30mins and listen to them discuss the art of listening, the perils of celibacy and the ways in which the HBO series captures the hearts and minds of its audience. I'm hooked......mainly because I feel like some part of every character is a part of me. After two seasons of feeling an enormous affinity to the writing on In Treatment, I have come to understand that many people feel similarly. It can only be for one reason: we are all pretty much the same; life deals us many common experiences: love, pain, joy, grief, happiness, sadness, friendship, loneliness....we just have to figure out how best to deal with the cards we're given, and how we can make our time here on earth meaningful. At least, that's what I think I have to do. Here's the link to enlighten you:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105958154

Now I'm onto Joseph O'Neill's interview on his new novel, Netherland. One I will read this summer! As any good Canadian would, I have to comment on the great weather we've had, especially today. I was on the water, rowing in the 4-man crew by 540am on the flat, pristine, early morning water of the St-Lawrence River. The causeway's traffic gradually increases with our time on the water. Other rowers pass by, the ferry to Wolfe Island causes a wake that we are ever-mindful of, and the runners and cyclists share our enthusiasm for the unspoiled morning. By the time bloggers that row, sit down to write about their life that day, their backs and knees hurt, aching from the intense morning workout on their 40 year old bodies!!!

Reflections on the past three weeks

This evening, I am alone, the kids are with their father; choral music is playing in the background, I've had soup and a bagel for supper....that's why I keep losing weight. You don't cook for yourself like you do for a family and you only eat when you're hungry, not when someone else is hungry! It's much more healthy, really. Just wait, I have to listen to this piece...too beautiful to be distracted.....

I have noticed that I have only felt like writing over the years when I've been away, and almost always at night. There's something to this; I think it must be that your head goes somewhere when there's silence surrounding you. Sometimes the silence bothers me, but mostly it keeps me sane. Gives me a chance to think things through, make decisions, have clarity, I guess. Clarity, so you can write! I guess that's why I always came home from business and vacation trips having made some big decision: to hire, to fire, to move, to leave. I just never connected that it was possible here, in my own home, in my own city. Really, it's more about silence than getting away anywhere. Completely uninterrupted time to think things through....

Closing remarks on my trip to Ireland:

8 out of 10---the weather was a -1 and missing my family was another -1.

Dublin City was immaculate. Since being home, I have seen nothing like it here....been to Ottawa, Kingston and Toronto. The street sweepers were out every night, and in all my pics, I cannot find ANY litter. I recently watched a movie called Once that was set in Dublin. Same thing...clean, clean, clean.

I would like to go back to spend several days in Dingle and to see Belfast and the northern parts of the country. But, I have other places that I want to go first.

The chocolate bars that I bought with small bits of toffee in them were the best!! Hershey's just doesn't cut it!

The meat is out of this world; so fresh.

The weather REALLY sucked!

Pete had money problems!

I miss RTElyric FM.

I don't miss the arguing on the radio shows.

Time goes by very quickly, so much so that I feel my breath taken away sometimes. Three packed weeks have gone by and all I can think about is my next vacation. Dreaming about going on vacation keeps me motivated. Seriously! I have to find someone with money, who likes to travel, and has lots of flexibility in their work, so we can take off and see the world. Give me a postage sized yard, and a smaller house, and see ya later. I think I signed my last post off with something about my over-committed life....well, I can tell you that it won't be as over-committeed in January! It's someone else's turn to take the reigns in a few departments.

Yesterday, I went to a rowing seminar at the Kingston Rowing Club. I was motivated by a new friend to try it out again, after many years. To be blunt, it was a bloody disaster.....

Both 8-person crews ended up getting stranded on the lake. The first problem was the weeds, and then, as the minutes flew by, the wind became a huge issue! If I'd heard that coxswain say "balance" or "let it run" one more f-ing time, I was gonna smack him, and I was #8 in the crew, so I could have too! A 40-minute row turned into three hrs of futility! Even the coach boat's motor got all locked up in the weeds and broke down, so they had to try to row to shore, which they couldn't do either, so 2 huge rowing boats, and a small aluminum coach boat all were towed to land. It's a miracle that nobody ended up in the water and dead of hypothermia. It really could have been a very sad story to tell today. I should have been home at 1230, instead it was 430pm! My nose and ears were hot until midday today! (the sun, not because I stay mad that long) Thankfully, nothing terrible happened and the weather was gorgeous, to be sure. Today I have a sore butt and the muscles in my hands hurt too!!

I've spent quite a while editting things and writing today, so will sign off for now, and listen to some more music.

Blessings, Steph